Rapid Thoughts

I sit at home procrastinating about many things. My heart is heavy and my eyes are swollen.

I don't know where I belong.

I feel emotional and vulnerable, and for some reason, alone.

There are people all around me. People who are my friends, my family, my acquaintances. Yet I feel invisible to the world.

Where has the peace in my heart gone?

For a second there, I thought everything would be OK. I thought that my heart was content.

My mind has never been so confused, my thoughts never so twisted, my voice never as silent.

I feel I am here, but just hovering above myself.

Watching as the world revolves around me, everyone so preoccupied.

I am alive but barley breathing.

This heart of mine feels troubled, slightly tortured, mostly helpless.

I try to unravel my thoughts, making sense of them - but in reality, my subconscious won't allow me to.

I'm not sure I really want to know, because I am scared of what I may discover.

This life I live, isn't mine anymore. Nobody seems to understand me.

The universe has my hand, and society strips me of believing I am normal.

What is normal?

Where am I?

What is this life I used to know?

Written by Jeska Brewster on 9.4.2010 (c)